Ever had your parents ask you about school and then they sneak in a question about if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? This seems to be happening on a daily basis when I speak to my parents. I know they want me to be happy with a man who loves me just as much as they love each other. I attend a Christian university where it seems that relationships are on everyone's mind. Rumor is that people attend to find their future spouse. The joke ring by spring is a promise that the university president puts into promise. Don't get me wrong I love my school. Everywhere I turn someone is either in a relationship, getting engaged, or married. I'm happy for these couples I really am, there is just this tiny feeling deep, deep down that is jealous of them because I want that for myself. I struggle with finding acceptance of my being single and redeeming myself in God's plan for me. I let thoughts come into my head is there something wrong with me, am I ugly, too fat? These thoughts weigh me down a lot. I look up verses finding my worth in God and try to be a Psalm 31 and to be like Ruth. I've been given a book called Redeeming Singleness and I will post my thoughts on it as I read it. I also think I am going to reread A Fierce Beauty. This is going to be a journey a finding my worth in God again. I know that He finds me beautiful in His eyes, I just don't see it anymore.
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